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JOIN NOWCoach comments - critical and non-constructive
What should a player do when they are in a rep team & committed but the coach makes comments after a carnival game like ''why did they bother coming if they are going to play like that" It's rep level, so the time commitment is big for parents & players and these comments visibly affect the team morale. It's also said at the side of the court where everybody can hear. My daughters shooting gets noticeably wobbly after these pep talk. They are given no specific guidance on how to improve their technique or change their game. Good players who are not difficult have left the rep team partially because of these types of comments. It is nearing the end of rep season & I fear if my daughter speaks up now, there will be negative consequences for her & and if I speak up, I will be seen to be an interfering parent. I know coaching is a difficult gig as I have coached for several years. Granted, a good game is acknowledged, but the damage has been done. They are 13/14year old girls and generally, not too sassy. The girls train for club & rep, play an extra game for rep each Saturday, umpire & practice outside of rep training, so they are a committed team. Several of the parents in the team coach & we all find this style to be counterproductive. Any suggestions?
Maree DeePlayer, Australia
ANSWERS
Simon ThomasonCoach, Australia
Hi Maree,
Sounds like a tough situation to be in. I`m not sure how much help anyone can be, but I`ll make a couple of comments and hope it might give you something to work with. My first suggestion would be that the next time these sort of comments are made your daughter needs to ask the coach for help. Be very direct with, something like "what can I work on between now and next game so that I can improve?" If the feedback to this sort of direct question is still not helpful or specific then I think you have no other option than to make a time when you can talk to the coach out of earshot of all the other players and parents. This conversation will possibly be a difficult one, but I think if you approach it with something like "my daughter is struggling to understand what it is she needs to do to improve and we`d really appreciate your advice," then it may have a better outcome than starting off by complaining about the current situation. After that, I`m not sure what avenues exist for you to escalate the issue as I don`t know the specifics of the rep program, but presumably there are other coaches or a program coordinator that you could discuss your concerns with.
My only other comment is that you may need to consider that the coach may be providing very specific feedback at training (which I`d assume you may not be witness to) and that your daughter is not putting it into practice come game time. It doesn`t excuse the comments, but it may go some way to help you understanding the frustration they may be borne from.
I hope this helps,
Simon
Janet Coach, Australia
Doesn't sound like an appropriate line to take by the coach and is not in anybody's best interests. It can be very frustrating when games don't go well but the best approach is to always keep players wanting to turn up & try harder which can only be done with encouragement, goal setting & an element of fun.
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Maree DeePlayer, Australia
Thanks all.. I think she is in a rock and a hard place. Will have to see this season out and decide if she wants to remain if the coach is reappointed next year. And yes, very early on I instructed my daughter to ask specifics, but the response is usually a "what" she wants, not "how" for example, come forward, but without showing her how to dodge and drive or how to hold front position as GS. I have found others to show my daughter, as well as shown her myself how to take & hold front position, clear-out-reoffer, etc, but it is not coming from the coach. Anyway, I suggested that the Coaching Coordinator mentor/shadow training sessions but that hasn`t happened either. It is not all the coach, my daughter doesn`t always remember to apply what she has learnt, so I usually get her to do a run through before a carnival of what she should be doing & I also make sure it isn`t contradictory to the coaches instructions, because ultimately the coach needs to be followed. At the end of the day, I can`t see any value whatsoever in vague negative statements without specific directions of how to change that..... I know for a fact it`s isn`t specific to my daughter, but I fear any approach to the coach, no matter how non-confrontational, won`t result in a good outcome. Oh well... I will just instruct my daughter that it`s a good life lesson to learn how to overcome these obstacles and continue to improve irrespective!
Thanks for input!
Maree DeePlayer, Australia
Thanks all.. I think she is in a rock and a hard place. Will have to see this season out and decide if she wants to remain if the coach is reappointed next year. And yes, very early on I instructed my daughter to ask specifics, but the response is usually a "what" she wants, not "how" for example, come forward, but without showing her how to dodge and drive or how to hold front position as GS. I have found others to show my daughter, as well as shown her myself how to take & hold front position, clear-out-reoffer, etc, but it is not coming from the coach. Anyway, I suggested that the Coaching Coordinator mentor/shadow training sessions but that hasn`t happened either. It is not all the coach, my daughter doesn`t always remember to apply what she has learnt, so I usually get her to do a run through before a carnival of what she should be doing & I also make sure it isn`t contradictory to the coaches instructions, because ultimately the coach needs to be followed. At the end of the day, I can`t see any value whatsoever in vague negative statements without specific directions of how to change that..... I know for a fact it`s isn`t specific to my daughter, but I fear any approach to the coach, no matter how non-confrontational, won`t result in a good outcome. Oh well... I will just instruct my daughter that it`s a good life lesson to learn how to overcome these obstacles and continue to improve irrespective!
Thanks for input!
