What to do when a mum takes over training?

Lee-annes NetballCoach, Australia

if you are confident enough to go up to the mother and say something along the lines of...hey i appreciate that you are trying to help, but it is really distracting when you are coaching from the sidelines, and it also confuses the other girls as to who is the coach and is undermining your authority as their coach.  you can add that you can appreciate how difficult it is to be a netballer, and parent, but she should also appreciate that her daughter needs to be able to come to you as a coach, and that you woud appreciate her support that she doesnt coach from the sidelines, during training or on game days.  to help with game days have a designated area that you and the girls stand to discuss tactics, and position changes that is away from the parents, and that no parents are allowed.  make sure all the kids drink bottles are kept together and make it known to all parents that they are not to have contact with the kids during games or training.  if you continue to have problems see your club president to help.

hope that helps and good luck.  netball mums are the worse...i should know...im one...and i have had to sit on the sidelines and bite my tongue on a number of occasions while my daughter was learning.  which is why i wanted to coach her team...because watching her train pissed me off too much.

liz wallisCoach, Australia

I have been coaching the U11's for most of my 15 years and totally agree with the advise from Lee anne, I have also given the mum a job to do like e.g. the stats sheet which normally keeps them busy and helps then to be aware its a team effort and not just won by one player...

Netball CoachCoach

Thanx Lee-anne & Liz, I'm a pretty easy going person, but perhaps I need to speak to her and/or all mums at next Training. She offered to help me but I know she'll just take over, as she did. I'm confident in rules, just a bit rusty with training drills. I was in the same boat watching my daughter past 3 years & noone else wanted to coach this yr so thought I'd give it a go & now I feel like what have I gotten myself into.
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Ian MarshCoach, England

Hi Kelly, I read about somethingthe other day in football that could be of interest to you:

"Youth teams in Lancashire have just taken part in a 'Silent Weekend' - a County FA trial asking parents and coaches to not shout out & only talk among themselves during games.

The idea was to take the pressure off kids from adults shouting at them in games and assess what (if any) difference this makes."

Could be worth a try at your next training/game if the other team are willing to try it out as well?

Good luck!

Janet Coach, Australia

All good answers above and good on you Kelly for taking on a coaching role.  Too many parents are 'experts' at giving advice but don't put their hands up to coach, manage teams or other useful endeavours. It is a good idea to set boundarys early in the season and thank any parents for their input but make it clear that you are the coach and you may ask for help only if YOU think it is appropriate.  When new to coaching it is useful to find a club mentor or other experienced person to help you with ideas and techniques if you can.  At this age busy & fun activities are more important than too much technical serious stuff which is probably what your enthusiastic parent is too concerned with.  Try to keep your sense of humour and appear confident even if you don't always feel it. I still get  the odd 'helpful' comment during games from some parents of Seniors (would you believe) and just respond with a 'hmmm' and don't usually discuss further. Good luck.

Netball CoachCoach

Thanks Alex & Janet for advice & encouragement I will take it all onboard. I discussed my issue with my club President & our coach Conveyor & Vice Pres are visiting all teams next training with club rules + the VP is an experienced coach & he's also offered to run through some drills etc to boost my knowledge & confidence. Fingers crossed all this helps otherwise it could be a very long season. I wouldn't mind the helpof the mum but feel she'll just take over., as she did. Funnily enough my 10yr old daughter told me, "the mum is probably just too excited her daughter is playing netball". Oh the wisdom of babes hehe
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Kristy ClearyCoach, Australia

Hey Kelly

I was told last year by our coaching conveynor to hand out coach and parent codes of behaviour. I think it shows parents that you won't take any crap. I also do a info sheet at the beginning of the season stating what parents can expect and other pointers like negativity will not be tolerated (I included this bit this year after finding out that last year one of the mums was yelling at her daughter in my u/8 team saying really nasty things). I have heard of other coaches telling parents that no yelling from the sidelines will be tolerated unless its a positive cheer and that kids are not to go to parents in breaks but stay with the rest of the team. If she's that good she should have coached the team herself..simple!

Lee-annes NetballCoach, Australia

Kelly i currently have an issue with one of my parents who is very negative towards me, and i went and spoke to the president of our club who sent one of their big dads to come and listen in on the going ons.  unfortunately the parent didnt turn up to our last game, so couldnt be observed or spoken to.  at least your mum is trying to help, my parent is down right horrible.

Netball CoachCoach

very good advice from everyone. just wanted to add that my daughter's coach taughter them all from the beginning to IGNORE EVERYTHING they heard from sidelines except her voice. Always and no exceptions. helped give them permission to tune out all the noise etc too. Good luck!

Netball CoachCoach

Thanx Celia, we had our first game last Saturday she coached her daughter so loudly the whole game, I don't think my girls could hear me. I can tell she thinks she'd be a better coach. But she forgets we have 7 players :) At next training I will use your suggestion & next game I have committee members attending so they may tap her on the shoulder & ask her to tone it down. Fingers crossed it works!! If not I'll give her the stats sheet to fill out :)
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Lee-annes NetballCoach, Australia

i did have to speak to these parents (i did it as a general point to all parents), that i am the coach and what i need from them is to ONLY be supportive to their girls, and not to coach them as it confuses the girls while im trying to coach.  it stopped the coaching the week after, but not the negativity.  that is what having a committee member will be for if he bothers to turn up again.  good luck with it.  but remember you are already the better coach, as you are the one who put their hand up to help.

Netball CoachCoach

Thanks Leanne for the encouragement I've decided I have big shoulders and the best if intentions and all I want is to do my best for the players. I've mentioned that all queries/issues from parents go via my manager (who's a practicing psychologist) & she can discuss with them and/or me or they can see committee, this way I'll be left free to coach the girls in netball, which is all I really want to do :)
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